Name: Finding confidence in your unique leadership style
Uploaded: 2023-11-14T15:30:32.003Z
Duration: 492.96

Lizi 3 clean.mp4

Lizi 3 clean.vtt

English

{{00:00:00}}
How had I gone from being too
scared to even put the bins

{{00:00:04}}
out without wearing a hat?

{{00:00:05}}
To standing on stage in front of
hundreds of people forgetting I

{{00:00:08}}
looked different from anyone else.

{{00:00:20}}
In 2017, soon after I finished my coaching
qualification, I developed alopecia

{{00:00:27}}
and lost all my hair within two months.

{{00:00:30}}
My confidence took a nosedive.

{{00:00:32}}
So I went on a journey to try
to learn how to be confident.

{{00:00:37}}
And when I got to the other side of
that, I reflected on what had happened.

{{00:00:41}}
How had I gone from...

{{00:00:43}}
Being too scared to even put the bins
out without wearing a hat to standing

{{00:00:48}}
on stage in front of hundreds of people
forgetting I looked different from anyone

{{00:00:51}}
else and I realised that there had been
a process there had been a series of

{{00:00:57}}
steps that I'd gone through to take me
from zero confidence to full confidence

{{00:01:03}}
and I then realised that was a process
that other people could learn and could

{{00:01:08}}
apply to really any area of life or
business where they knew that there was

{{00:01:12}}
room for more confidence and where that
would really make a difference to them.

{{00:01:20}}
One of the first things I
learned is that confidence

{{00:01:22}}
isn't an all or nothing quality.

{{00:01:25}}
We all have things that we're
more or less confident doing.

{{00:01:29}}
And so the key thing that I learned is
that we have to get really intentional

{{00:01:34}}
about choosing a very specific area where.

{{00:01:37}}
A growth in confidence would make a
real tangible difference to our lives.

{{00:01:42}}
The most common way that people try
to help other people to be confident.

{{00:01:47}}
is telling them to be confident.

{{00:01:49}}
And unsurprisingly, that doesn't work.

{{00:01:52}}
If anything, it just damages our
confidence more because we end

{{00:01:55}}
up wondering why we can't just
magically do this, this thing.

{{00:01:59}}
Another strategy that can be
really helpful is to reframe

{{00:02:03}}
your what if thinking.

{{00:02:04}}
A really effective way of tackling
that is to replace negative

{{00:02:08}}
what ifs with positive what ifs.

{{00:02:10}}
So an example could be that you
find yourself thinking What if

{{00:02:15}}
asking my team for their ideas
makes me look like a weak leader?

{{00:02:18}}
You can change that to something
positive like, What if asking

{{00:02:21}}
my team for their ideas helps to
solve the problem more quickly?

{{00:02:25}}
Or what if asking my team for
their ideas helps to foster

{{00:02:30}}
trust and respect between us.

{{00:02:31}}
The first kind of what ifs
damages our confidence.

{{00:02:35}}
The second kind boosts our confidence
and allows us to move forward

{{00:02:38}}
with really positive action.

{{00:02:40}}
A further strategy that is at the root
of all the work that I do in my coaching,

{{00:02:45}}
is to ask yourself the question, What
would I do if I was more confident?

{{00:02:51}}
It's not what would I think or how
would I feel, it's what would I do.

{{00:02:54}}
Examples of the kinds of things
leaders might say to me would be,

{{00:02:58}}
I would approach big investors for
funding, or I would outsource the

{{00:03:04}}
tasks that I'm not very good at.

{{00:03:06}}
What you're doing here is you're actually
creating a list of goals so that once

{{00:03:10}}
you start to work on how can you do that,
how can you reach out to those investors

{{00:03:15}}
or outsource those tasks and you get
closer and closer and then achieve them.

{{00:03:19}}
What you're doing is embodying the
actions that you previously identified

{{00:03:24}}
as being part of a more confident you.

{{00:03:31}}
Confidence doesn't have to mean
being constantly loud and extroverted

{{00:03:36}}
and in control all the time.

{{00:03:37}}
Actually, what I see is that that's
often a defense mechanism, a strategy.

{{00:03:42}}
used by people who put this big,
loud, extroverted persona out

{{00:03:46}}
there in the hope no one notices
the kind of lack of confidence

{{00:03:49}}
that's going on under the surface.

{{00:03:51}}
Actually, it's entirely possible
to be quiet, introverted,

{{00:03:55}}
and supremely confident.

{{00:03:57}}
It's also a myth that confident
people are always on top of

{{00:04:01}}
things and always in control.

{{00:04:03}}
And actually, I think that being
confident means being okay with not.

{{00:04:08}}
Being on top of things all the
time, asking for help when we

{{00:04:10}}
need it, and accepting that we
can't always be in control and

{{00:04:13}}
have all the answers all the time.

{{00:04:20}}
When it comes to leadership, the
misconceptions around confidence are vast.

{{00:04:24}}
One of the most common ones that I come
across is this idea that, people in

{{00:04:30}}
leadership roles are always confident.

{{00:04:33}}
Actually, that's clearly not
the case, and in fact, the

{{00:04:36}}
more senior a role you are in.

{{00:04:39}}
the more pressure there can be
to appear confident at all times.

{{00:04:44}}
That's then compounded by a further
misconception, which is that really

{{00:04:48}}
there is only one way that you can
look and sound and act like a leader.

{{00:04:54}}
And when leaders try to shoehorn
themselves into that narrative and

{{00:05:00}}
portray themselves in that way, they're
acting in a way that doesn't feel

{{00:05:04}}
authentic to them and that in turn
damages their confidence even more.

{{00:05:08}}
Luckily there are a number of strategies
that you can use to help you yourself

{{00:05:13}}
to move past those misconceptions and
really step up as a confident leader.

{{00:05:17}}
One of them is quite simple, which is
to think of a leader who inspires you,

{{00:05:23}}
who perhaps has had a positive impact on
your life in some way, and to write down

{{00:05:28}}
a list of the qualities and attributes
that they have that you admire so much.

{{00:05:34}}
What you're doing here is you're
creating a new blueprint for yourself,

{{00:05:39}}
for what a successful, confident leader
you admire could look like and then

{{00:05:46}}
when you start to embody some of those
qualities yourself, you feel confident

{{00:05:50}}
doing it because you know why you're
doing it and what you're aiming for.

{{00:05:57}}
We can sometimes worry about
whether or not other people

{{00:06:00}}
perceive us as confident leaders.

{{00:06:02}}
One way to really overcome that worry
is to explore your own innate strengths.

{{00:06:08}}
And by that, I'm talking about the kind
of strengths that are natural parts

{{00:06:12}}
of your character, things that you do.

{{00:06:14}}
easily and comfortably, and that
you enjoy being able to use.

{{00:06:18}}
Things like creativity
and humor, optimism.

{{00:06:22}}
And once you can start exploring ways
you can lean into those strengths

{{00:06:27}}
to really enhance your personal
leadership style, that comes across

{{00:06:30}}
in the way that you're perceived.

{{00:06:32}}
And you are then seen as somebody who
takes up space, who owns everything

{{00:06:37}}
that makes you who you are, rather
than shrinking and diminishing

{{00:06:40}}
those parts of your character that
you felt perhaps didn't embody the

{{00:06:45}}
way that  a leader should behave.

{{00:06:51}}
As leaders, we often get told
that we need to be pushing

{{00:06:54}}
ourselves outside our comfort zone
at every possible opportunity.

{{00:06:58}}
More than that, actually we're
told that comfort zones are bad

{{00:07:01}}
places where growth doesn't happen
and, and nothing good grows there.

{{00:07:06}}
Actually, I think that's
fundamentally wrong.

{{00:07:08}}
Comfort zones are where
we perform at our best.

{{00:07:12}}
When you're in your comfort zone, you're
not being hampered by imposter syndrome

{{00:07:16}}
and fear of judgment and worry about
whether or not you're good enough.

{{00:07:19}}
In your comfort zone, You know,
you're doing well, you know, you've

{{00:07:23}}
got this and you show up and perform
exactly the way you would want to.

{{00:07:27}}
And so I believe that what we should
be working on as leaders is expanding

{{00:07:31}}
our comfort zones to include all the
things that we would love to be doing

{{00:07:36}}
as those confident leaders, rather
than constantly pushing ourselves

{{00:07:39}}
out of our comfort zones, which
is a fast track route to burnout.

{{00:07:44}}
And actually.

{{00:07:45}}
A real secret around confidence that
many people don't know is that when

{{00:07:49}}
something feels to you like you're
in your comfort zone, it looks

{{00:07:53}}
to others like you're confident.

{{00:07:55}}
And so when you can bring all the aspects
of your leadership role to within your

{{00:07:59}}
comfort zone, that's when people recognise
you for the confident, successful

{{00:08:04}}
leader that you have inside you.

How had I gone from being too
scared to even put the bins

To standing on stage in front of
hundreds of people forgetting I

In 2017, soon after I finished my coaching
qualification, I developed alopecia

So I went on a journey to try
to learn how to be confident.

And when I got to the other side of
that, I reflected on what had happened.

Being too scared to even put the bins
out without wearing a hat to standing

on stage in front of hundreds of people
forgetting I looked different from anyone

else and I realised that there had been
a process there had been a series of

steps that I'd gone through to take me
from zero confidence to full confidence

and I then realised that was a process
that other people could learn and could

apply to really any area of life or
business where they knew that there was

room for more confidence and where that
would really make a difference to them.

One of the first things I
learned is that confidence

We all have things that we're
more or less confident doing.

And so the key thing that I learned is
that we have to get really intentional

about choosing a very specific area where.

A growth in confidence would make a
real tangible difference to our lives.

The most common way that people try
to help other people to be confident.

If anything, it just damages our
confidence more because we end

up wondering why we can't just
magically do this, this thing.

Another strategy that can be
really helpful is to reframe

A really effective way of tackling
that is to replace negative

So an example could be that you
find yourself thinking What if

asking my team for their ideas
makes me look like a weak leader?

You can change that to something
positive like, What if asking

my team for their ideas helps to
solve the problem more quickly?

Or what if asking my team for
their ideas helps to foster

The first kind of what ifs
damages our confidence.

The second kind boosts our confidence
and allows us to move forward

A further strategy that is at the root
of all the work that I do in my coaching,

is to ask yourself the question, What
would I do if I was more confident?

It's not what would I think or how
would I feel, it's what would I do.

Examples of the kinds of things
leaders might say to me would be,

I would approach big investors for
funding, or I would outsource the

What you're doing here is you're actually
creating a list of goals so that once

you start to work on how can you do that,
how can you reach out to those investors

or outsource those tasks and you get
closer and closer and then achieve them.

What you're doing is embodying the
actions that you previously identified

Confidence doesn't have to mean
being constantly loud and extroverted

Actually, what I see is that that's
often a defense mechanism, a strategy.

used by people who put this big,
loud, extroverted persona out

there in the hope no one notices
the kind of lack of confidence

Actually, it's entirely possible
to be quiet, introverted,

It's also a myth that confident
people are always on top of

And actually, I think that being
confident means being okay with not.

Being on top of things all the
time, asking for help when we

need it, and accepting that we
can't always be in control and

When it comes to leadership, the
misconceptions around confidence are vast.

One of the most common ones that I come
across is this idea that, people in

Actually, that's clearly not
the case, and in fact, the

the more pressure there can be
to appear confident at all times.

That's then compounded by a further
misconception, which is that really

there is only one way that you can
look and sound and act like a leader.

And when leaders try to shoehorn
themselves into that narrative and

portray themselves in that way, they're
acting in a way that doesn't feel

authentic to them and that in turn
damages their confidence even more.

Luckily there are a number of strategies
that you can use to help you yourself

to move past those misconceptions and
really step up as a confident leader.

One of them is quite simple, which is
to think of a leader who inspires you,

who perhaps has had a positive impact on
your life in some way, and to write down

a list of the qualities and attributes
that they have that you admire so much.

What you're doing here is you're
creating a new blueprint for yourself,

for what a successful, confident leader
you admire could look like and then

when you start to embody some of those
qualities yourself, you feel confident

doing it because you know why you're
doing it and what you're aiming for.

We can sometimes worry about
whether or not other people

One way to really overcome that worry
is to explore your own innate strengths.

And by that, I'm talking about the kind
of strengths that are natural parts

easily and comfortably, and that
you enjoy being able to use.

Things like creativity
and humor, optimism.

And once you can start exploring ways
you can lean into those strengths

to really enhance your personal
leadership style, that comes across

And you are then seen as somebody who
takes up space, who owns everything

that makes you who you are, rather
than shrinking and diminishing

those parts of your character that
you felt perhaps didn't embody the

Best Practice

'Just BE confident.' If only it were as easy as saying those three words. Confidence Coach Lizi Jackson-Barrett's story begins with losing her hair to alopecia in 2017, and leads to her becoming a successful confidence coach and leader. So what got her to this point?

Jackson-Barrett joins us in the Streamly Studio to delve into her key steps on how to go from 'zero confidence to full confidence' as a leader.

Leadership Skills

Management Tips

Career Development

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Lizi Jackson-Barrett

Discover insights from other experts

Confidence Strategist

Since losing her hair to alopecia in 2017, Jackson-Barrett has relearnt what it means to be truly confident. Jackson-Barrett shares her steps on how to step into your confidence as a leader.

Lizi's key strategies

Jackson-Barrett debunks the theory that you need to be extroverted in order to be confident. 

Does extroverted = confidence? 

Imposter syndrome and fear of judgement are two potential symptoms of leading without confidence, which according to Jackson-Barrett can result in burnout. Jackson-Barrett discusses the concept of comfort zones and performing at your best.